OK! So, here I am finally! I do exist! This blog was a great idea by my man, but the idea was for us both to write, and so far... I'm slacking! 19 weeks pregnant with the twins... it is hard to believe it was only 4 weeks ago that our midwife said these words that there's "no going back" from: "I think there's two babies in there"... It is sort of bizarre and beautiful actually. The beautiful part: self explanatory, the news that you're pregnant all over again, except you knew about the first one. The bizarre part: this woman is just doing her job, and she wasn't real sure at first what she was seeing on her small machine. But her life was not/ is not affected by these words like ours is, it's just another day at the office. And so, it is kinda funny the dialog that went on in my head right at first... she was so calm about it and so matter of fact, nonchalant, and I immediately think "whoa, hey, don't just be throwing those words out there, you can't just take that stuff back" almost as if I thought she had the power to speak that second baby into existence! And then when they continue on analyzing, discussing, "well, is there one sac or ... placenta... or two? what are we seeing here..." You wanna be like, "hey, can we just pause here for a second", and "I don't know if you realize that we had no idea we were having twins til about 10 seconds ago, so can we just process?"
My husband is so amazing. He could not have been more positive and encouraging that whole day! As he described, the L-rd not only gave him peace, but instruction, clear instruction, not to go down any roads leading to "what if's" or the long list of what we need to do... We knew that we WERE going to be soooo excited and this was in fact going to be a huge blessing so we just CHOSE to go there immediately and not detour at worried, or stressed.
What is amazing?... How quickly we got so used to referring to the babiES! plural! "them" "the twins"... and within the couple of days it took to sink in... the words i had thought at first about not being able to take those words back, were so true in more than one way... we can't just go back, in such a short time it took for our brains to process the news of two babies at once, it was also made permanent and seemed like it had always been there. Like we had planned it. We now cannot think or imagine it any other way. Feels like we planned our family this way! As we went back to the doctor two weeks later, I realized that while some people might assume that I would've welcomed and sighed relief at a "oops we messed up, only ONE in there!" -- I went with the opposite, and was truly so glad that they "can't just take that stuff back!"
